Six days ago a Youtube video was posted of Ellen Degeneres expressing her feelings of devastation over the recent suicide of Tyler Clemente (as a result of bullying) and other gay youth. While the statistics on lgbt youth and young adult suicide and the bullying that they often face has been talked about for years, it seems that Ellen's video has touched off a firestorm of celebrities doing Public Announcements and calling on lgbt youth to reach out for help and hold on to hope... "Things will get better. You should be alive to see it."

I too am heart broken by the recent rash of suicides among lgbt youth and young adults. Yet I have also been aware of the bullying that goes on in schools all over our country. Unfortunately, the church is often the last place that youth and young adults will turn for help. Our record and reputation for being "gay friendly" is horrible and has more often added to the problems for lgbt young people...

October 5's episode of Glee commented on the church's reputation for homophobia, a timely message given this month's tragic string of gay-bullying-related suicides. Despite the humorous title, in "Grilled Cheesus," viewers got a serious glimpse into young people's spirituality in the face of tragedy. Members of the unpopular high school Glee Club are drawn together when the father of one student lands in a coma. The student, Kurt, also happens to be gay and finds it difficult to handle the prayers of his well-meaning friends. Even before tragedy strikes, Kurt's objections to Christianity are made clear: "The reason I don't go to church is because churches don't think too much of gay people."

Well there you have it. Within the first five minutes of a show watched by 11 million people, the church is unmistakeably labeled as homophobic. To say that this has nothing to do with the young men recently tormented to the point of suicide would be dangerously naive. (From MFSA's October 6th E-News)

I don't want to rehash what others have already been saying and doing, but I do want to suggest some things that inclusive (that means welcoming and affirming of lgbt as whole people of God) churches can all do to make a difference...

1) Take up the cause for anti-bullying legislation... hurray, New York just passed it! "The Dignity for All Students Act" was signed into law on September 8, 2010. Bullying will soon be illegal and a chargeable offense. Unfortunately, it doesn't go into effect until July 1, 2012. So what do we do to help in the meantime?

2) Help others to learn about the effects of bullying and to develop methods of confronting bullying. There are many good resources out there: GLSEN has a number of ideas for lgbt youth and educators; Teaching Tolerance has a wonderful video - Bullied: A Student, a School, and a Case That Made History that they offer for free.

3) Don't let the silence come back! Keep speaking out and making your voice heard! Our kids need it and so does our society. As time passes, people's attentions will move on to the next news item. The church needs to continue to be an advocate for those who often aren't given a voice, or worse yet, are bullied out of feeling that they can speak out. Host events all year long that bring youth and young adults together to share their hopes, struggles, joys and concerns... imagine what it could do for the Church and it's not so healthy reputation.